I can haz advaizes? Robopandas eatedying my brane. Plz send punctuashen and raiting tipz, plzplzplz fer I needz skilz agen.

Crossed Wires.

Why is it I think in Tagalog when I need to write in English, and think in English when I need to write in Tagalog?

There's a story here somewhere bt I'm afraid it's been done.

My phones won't work. Not even the prepaid ones. I bought cards for those, but they won't load, and the one with the line says it's been redirected, when I just paid my bill last week.

My car has overheated, and is at the shop.

My computer keeps shutting down all by itself every five minutes, making it extremely difficult to get anything done..

There is no money in my ATM, but that's my fault.

Maybe I should just go back and live off the land. Bah.

On the brighter side, America's new President looks exactly the way my grandfather did when he was young. Bahahaha.