Overload

I'm just so very tired.

I'm having one of those days.

The ones when everyone around you seems to be all talking at the same time, but you can't quite hear them because the sounds are filtered then magnified through a glass tube that goes straight into your ear, bypassing the eardrums to go straight into the nerves, up the back of your head in single metallic file causing synaptic short circuits in your brain and you can see the sparks somewhere in the back of your eyes.

The ones where there seem to be too many people all around, and walking ten meters is an obstacle course and you're just trying to put one foot in front of you in a straight line, but they're in front of you, walking too slow, popping out of nowhere and just getting in your way when you just want to buy one Jamaican patty for lunch, dammit.

The ones where too many people are too sad, too happy, too frustrated, too lonely, too angry, too excited or too panicky and they stand so close to you it gives you vertigo, because this feeling thing is quite new, and you are just getting used to it, and now there's all of a sudden too much and it's not even yours.

I'm dizzy. My head hurts. I'm sweating cold. I just threw up.

I want to just sit in a dark, soundproofed padded cell somewhere and draw pictures on the wall with blood, mustard and someone's expensive lipstick.